Victor J at 50th b-day

I never thought a 50th b-day can be so interesting, but hulle se mos, j is net so oud soes j voel, and apperently this woman from Northpine fits that kinda discription, coz sy kan nog boogie until die early hours of the morning and still be awake untill the next night.

Nou wiet ekkie soe mooi nie, coz i need to get my baeuty sleep, as 'it ooit werk. Die vrou het ses laaities and apperently all of them likes soccer coz mom and dad were busy while the soccer Chanel were on, so becareful what you do when you are listening to or watching certain things and planning a family, en sister Muldrid wassie probably nie daar nie,

She was quite surprise coz her boys hettie die hele move uitgesort, rented a hall in at the hotel, got all her friends, and she was happy and crying, plus the boys.

I was just looking at the whole gedoente, lekker om te sien hoe mense tjank. Ek wiet 'is verkeerd, maar hoekom moet hulle soe badluck wies, ha, happiness i guess, yippie i'm 50.

What's on Victor J's mind...

It's All Good between 6&9am weekdays. A very vibrant show, lots of good music and birthday shout outs. Lots of crazy people call in, from as far as Goodwood Prison. The show will be LIVE from Robben Island from the 6th -8th December. It will be as crazy as always... been to the island before for training, now again in December we will be updating you on what's happening at the Kidrocracy Media Konference, but for more info, you must be locked onto Bush Radio 89.5fm, weekdays, from 6 to 9AM... where It's (originally) All Good...

Why you shouldn't lick envelopes!

I read a story on radio the other day, in the week, about a lady who licked the envelopes, coz the warning is out, you should not lick envelopes coz there's all sorts of things in the glue, kokkerot eiers, en die goed is everywhere, nou hoe kan jy nou meer, but ja, so finally gat die vrou doctor toe, but the doctor said there's nothing wrong met her tong, but die dag daar na, toe swel die vrou se tong.ok now she's going for surgery, minor surgery, en wat kry hulle daar, cockroach eggs op haar tong, damn, nasty, ek hoeppie sy het n man gehad'tie, coz ek divorce my vrou daarna, of os soen net nooit weerrie, ha! nou die news reader, chanel, somehow tried it out, ek sal jou update van daai happening, coz ek wiettie wat het daar gebeurrie, more of that later.

Victor J says...

Good day! This are some of the classics that people are sending to me on a daily basis, if you have any, feel free to let us watse jokes you've got, coz somewhere moet j ies funny gehoor'et.

CLASSIC: Paramedic word tydens n kragonderbreking geroep na huis waar vrou in kraam is. Daar aangekom is die enigste bron van lig n flits wat die 3-jarige.

Sannie vir hom moet vashou.

Groot oë kyk Sannie na alles tot waar paramedic klein Jannie aan sy voete oplig en sy boudjies slaan. Paramedic vra: "Wat dink jy van hierdie??"

Sannie "Hy moes in die eerste plek nie daar ingekruip het nie, MOER hom weer!!

GET IN TOUCH!

I would love to get comments from people who tune-into the show. Also if you have any info that may usefull to other communities, feel free to get in touch. We want to know what are you up to wherever you might be from.
Email me: morning@bushradio.co.za

From the pen of Victor J...

My ex producer, Wesley Wessels, celebrated his b-day on the 11th October, also together with my belated mom, i was a bit sad, just to think how it was and how it could've been to have her around, but ja, soes hulle se, life goes on, but getting back to wesley, him and his friend went on till the next morning, 6am.

Damn, i haven't had a night like that, hmmm, come to think, in years, by the looks of Wes the next day , after 1pm, he looked completely, f*cked, now just imagine how his friend looked, it's always nice to abuse your b-day, if your's must still come, go crazy and do all sorts of things, and don't forget me. It's a good opportunity to meet girls…

COLOURED FRIENDS vs WHITE FRIENDS

WHITE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
COL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
WHITE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
COL FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.
WHITE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
COL FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, ...we f*cked up...but that sh!t was fun!
WHITE FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
COL FRIENDS: Cry with you.
WHITE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
COL FRIENDS: Keep your sh!t so long they forget it's yours.
WHITE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
COL FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
WHITE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
COL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' azz that left you.
WHITE FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
COL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, I'm home!
WHITE FRIENDS: Friends are for a while.
COL FRIENDS: Friends are for life.
WHITE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
COL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, B*tch, you better drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste!! (WE KNOW THAT S*#T IS TRUE)
WHITE FRIENDS: Will talk sh!t to the person who talks sh!t about you.
COL FRIENDS: Will knock them the f*ck out!!
WHITE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
COL FRIENDS: Will pass it on to share with the rest of their COL FRIENDS!!!
THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR...

More classics...

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next, vetgat."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.

WHERE DO YOU FIT IN, COZ THIS NEED A LOT OF BALLS, DEPENDS HOW MUCH YOU LOVE YOUR PARTNER.

Victor J's birthday...

It was my b-day on the 1st of this month (October) and damn... it was good... had one last year as well and it was also fun, ha-ha, but j sien die problem met b-day parties is that everybody wants to be part of it, even al ken j'rie die mense nie, they have to be there, and then they bring the whole family and you just have to provide them met wat j het. They will always be the last to leave and first to be there, moennie praat vannie complaints during die party nie, but that's our people, even al het j'rie n groot besigheid'tie, as long as you make noise than they will be there, so the next time you have a party, don't play any music or if you do, play it -5db's. Got a lot of mesage via sms, and than this one:
"Happy bithday to you Viktor J on Sunday, have many more to come & i wish you all the best for the future. Dont party to much on Sunday because we dont want miss you on monday. take care from Mzoli."